Complete: 12/20/2014
Jack and I first met at the birthday party of Z.Z., who is a good college friend of mine's and Jack's cousin. We interact a few times later, playing tennis, going out to eat, and the sort, before we officially become a couple on February 28, 2013. We're kind of opposites who attract. He's the more laid-back one who can be a protector. I am more intense, but affectionate (and likes receiving affection) too. Jack proposes to me on June 11, 2014 in front of his entire family and my parents, sister, and her boyfriend. We decided to get married on December 20, 2014.
In regards to wedding planning, there were definitely obstacles I didn't foresee. First, wedding planning is never really about what just you and the groom want, so trying to be accommodating to other people's suggestions was quite the challenge. Some people may argue that weddings are about the bride and groom, so what they say should go, but it really doesn't work like that in Chinese culture. Chinese weddings can be very elaborate affairs. It wasn't easy for Jack and me to try to incorporate all the stuff of Chinese weddings since we don't really have much background on all the cultural customs surrounding this big life event. For me, I was mainly concerned with not spending an obnoxious amount of money for just one day. We set a budget of $20,000. We ended up going over, but not by more than $1,000. I'd say we did a pretty good job of tapping into family and friends for their talents and DIY-ing a bunch of stuff (my proudest projects would be the photobooth props and my origami bridal bouquet).
Here's how the day panned out:
5:00 Groom, bride and families wake up to get ready
8:00 Groom and his posse of men arrive at the bride's house to take part in Chinese Bridal Door Games. This is a Chinese custom where the bride has a group of gals that guard the door and make the groom and his men complete certain tasks to "prove" his love to the bride. My sister organized three games before letting them through. For their first mission, the guys had to apply lip gloss and create some kind of picture for the bride. In the next challenge, the guys had to complete some pretty advanced group yoga poses. The last hurdle they had to get over was to sing a boy band song (Backstreet Boys "I Want it That Way" was their choice of song), and then sing it again with marshmallows stuffed in their mouths.
10:00 Wedding ceremony at Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden. The weather fortunately held up. It rained until the day before, cleared up for the morning, and then began raining again the day after. Mother Nature approves of our wedding. We held it at a location overlooking a pond. For our sendoff, we had people toasting us with pink lemonade.
3:30 Head down to the restaurant to finish setting up for the reception.
5:00 Guests begin to arrive. Can take part in the photobooth or just hang around as live music playing in the background.
6:15 Start of the program. Summary of it: Bride (in Western wedding attire) and groom make grand entrance. Go directly into bouquet and garter toss (for the garter, instead of it being on my leg, we put it on Jack's). Intermission as food started to come out. Bride (in Chinese wedding attire) and groom play a slideshow. Two guy cousins do a toast for Jack, sister does a toast for Sylvia, cake-cutting ceremony, then onto wedding game. Jack has to go down a line of girls blindfolded, feeling their hands to see if he can pick out Sylvia's. He succeeds. Sylvia then gets blindfolded, and has to go down a line of guys who are positioned in different bodybuilding poses to see if Sylvia can pick out Jack by his bicep. She fails very badly. Intermission. Bride (in final reception dress) and groom listen to musical performance by C.T. and S.O., followed by Sylvia's aunty and a family friend of Sylvia's aunty. Then the newlyweds do a toast. Centerpiece giveaway. Program ends at around 9:00pm.
Things have been pretty hectic since, moving over to his house, trying to recover from the wedding and tie up any loose ends from that, and just getting accustomed to married life together. So far so good :)
If I had to reflect on my wedding, here are some important considerations:
1) If you want to do more DIY stuff, then I suggest you give yourself more time between engagement and the wedding just so it's not as jam-packed as I felt it was for me. Thinking about wedding stuff every weekend for months in a row can get pretty tiring. Give yourself room to take a break from it once in a while. It's also good to give yourself more time so you can try to figure out when sales are for the things you'll need. For example, we saved on some of our photobooth props because we got it after Halloween.
2) We were very fortunate that our restaurant was accommodating in allowing us to come a few days beforehand to start setting up. If we didn't have that Thursday and Friday to go in and get the table decorations set, test out the A/V equipment, and try to figure out our photobooth, I think our wedding would have left a lot to be desired. Very grateful for that.
3) I put together a list of pictures/video to capture on that day. It was so useful and efficient to have that on hand. But for the times people wanted to take pictures that weren't planned, it did take up some time. Just be sure to account for those moments in your schedule. Glad we had wiggle room between getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception so it wasn't as stressful as it could have been. Also, in your list of photos, be sure to specifically make an effort to get pictures with individual people. I look back now and wish I had taken more pictures with my parents at the reception.
4) I wish we advertised the photobooth more because we put together an awesome one with all kinds of cool props. We also made that our guestbook, where folks would stick one set of prints and write us a message, and then they got to keep a set of pictures for themselves. We only got like 40 pictures total when we had well over 200 guests so that was kind of a bummer.
I definitely need to give a shout out to lots of friends and family who made the special day happen, because without their skills and willingness to help me out, I definitely would not have been able to pull off all the elements that we ended up incorporating:
Of course our parents for raising us
S.T. - day-of coordination, planned a wedding shower for me, gave an excellent toast
S.O. - ceremony music, reception background music and performance with C.T.
C.T. - musical performance with S.O.
Z.Z. and T.W. - reception emcees
J.K. - transportation, photobooth
B.K. - photobooth
J.Y. - day-of coordination
J.C. - day-of coordination
E.C., A.C. - video/pictures, photobooth
A.B. - pictures
K.B. - hair and make up
M.I. - video
M.F. - photobooth
L.T. - orchids for our centerpieces
L.C., K.C. - Chinese customs
G.N. & Y.L. - impromptu photographers who shared some excellent shots
Also to some aunties for helping me with my attire
And both sides of the family for helping to get things together for the wedding and helping with all kinds of logistics on our big day.
In regards to wedding planning, there were definitely obstacles I didn't foresee. First, wedding planning is never really about what just you and the groom want, so trying to be accommodating to other people's suggestions was quite the challenge. Some people may argue that weddings are about the bride and groom, so what they say should go, but it really doesn't work like that in Chinese culture. Chinese weddings can be very elaborate affairs. It wasn't easy for Jack and me to try to incorporate all the stuff of Chinese weddings since we don't really have much background on all the cultural customs surrounding this big life event. For me, I was mainly concerned with not spending an obnoxious amount of money for just one day. We set a budget of $20,000. We ended up going over, but not by more than $1,000. I'd say we did a pretty good job of tapping into family and friends for their talents and DIY-ing a bunch of stuff (my proudest projects would be the photobooth props and my origami bridal bouquet).
Origami bouquet resting atop veil
Now let's talk about the actual wedding day. The planner that I am thought that I would have an easier time that most because I have experience planning events and paying attention to the small details. I created a very detailed schedule and supplies list and tried to be as organized as possible. Let me just tell you off the bat that many things will not go according to plan on your wedding, yet in the end, it will be fine for the most part. There are so many things going on that day, especially in Chinese weddings, that you just can't account for everything running perfectly. But I think those are some of the moments that make your wedding memorable. Some of them make for good laughs, too :)
Obligatory jumping picture
5:00 Groom, bride and families wake up to get ready
8:00 Groom and his posse of men arrive at the bride's house to take part in Chinese Bridal Door Games. This is a Chinese custom where the bride has a group of gals that guard the door and make the groom and his men complete certain tasks to "prove" his love to the bride. My sister organized three games before letting them through. For their first mission, the guys had to apply lip gloss and create some kind of picture for the bride. In the next challenge, the guys had to complete some pretty advanced group yoga poses. The last hurdle they had to get over was to sing a boy band song (Backstreet Boys "I Want it That Way" was their choice of song), and then sing it again with marshmallows stuffed in their mouths.
Jack singing with marshmallows in his mouth
9:00 Tea ceremony with my side of the family. My parents gifted me a very nice gold necklace and bracelet in matching floral design, and Jack a nice Citizen watch.10:00 Wedding ceremony at Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden. The weather fortunately held up. It rained until the day before, cleared up for the morning, and then began raining again the day after. Mother Nature approves of our wedding. We held it at a location overlooking a pond. For our sendoff, we had people toasting us with pink lemonade.
At the altar
Walking away as Mr. and Mrs. Wu
10:30 Pictures at the Garden.
12:00 Lunch at Jack's house. Bride and groom perform tea ceremony for his side of the family first.5:00 Guests begin to arrive. Can take part in the photobooth or just hang around as live music playing in the background.
6:15 Start of the program. Summary of it: Bride (in Western wedding attire) and groom make grand entrance. Go directly into bouquet and garter toss (for the garter, instead of it being on my leg, we put it on Jack's). Intermission as food started to come out. Bride (in Chinese wedding attire) and groom play a slideshow. Two guy cousins do a toast for Jack, sister does a toast for Sylvia, cake-cutting ceremony, then onto wedding game. Jack has to go down a line of girls blindfolded, feeling their hands to see if he can pick out Sylvia's. He succeeds. Sylvia then gets blindfolded, and has to go down a line of guys who are positioned in different bodybuilding poses to see if Sylvia can pick out Jack by his bicep. She fails very badly. Intermission. Bride (in final reception dress) and groom listen to musical performance by C.T. and S.O., followed by Sylvia's aunty and a family friend of Sylvia's aunty. Then the newlyweds do a toast. Centerpiece giveaway. Program ends at around 9:00pm.
3-tier guava chiffon wedding cake
Guessing time for Jack
Sylvia's turn to guess
Jack's toast by his two oldest cousins
Sylvia's toast by her sister
Us with the co-emcees
Celina and Scott performing
My Aunty Jenny singing
If I had to reflect on my wedding, here are some important considerations:
1) If you want to do more DIY stuff, then I suggest you give yourself more time between engagement and the wedding just so it's not as jam-packed as I felt it was for me. Thinking about wedding stuff every weekend for months in a row can get pretty tiring. Give yourself room to take a break from it once in a while. It's also good to give yourself more time so you can try to figure out when sales are for the things you'll need. For example, we saved on some of our photobooth props because we got it after Halloween.
2) We were very fortunate that our restaurant was accommodating in allowing us to come a few days beforehand to start setting up. If we didn't have that Thursday and Friday to go in and get the table decorations set, test out the A/V equipment, and try to figure out our photobooth, I think our wedding would have left a lot to be desired. Very grateful for that.
3) I put together a list of pictures/video to capture on that day. It was so useful and efficient to have that on hand. But for the times people wanted to take pictures that weren't planned, it did take up some time. Just be sure to account for those moments in your schedule. Glad we had wiggle room between getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception so it wasn't as stressful as it could have been. Also, in your list of photos, be sure to specifically make an effort to get pictures with individual people. I look back now and wish I had taken more pictures with my parents at the reception.
4) I wish we advertised the photobooth more because we put together an awesome one with all kinds of cool props. We also made that our guestbook, where folks would stick one set of prints and write us a message, and then they got to keep a set of pictures for themselves. We only got like 40 pictures total when we had well over 200 guests so that was kind of a bummer.
Of course our parents for raising us
S.T. - day-of coordination, planned a wedding shower for me, gave an excellent toast
S.O. - ceremony music, reception background music and performance with C.T.
C.T. - musical performance with S.O.
Z.Z. and T.W. - reception emcees
J.K. - transportation, photobooth
B.K. - photobooth
J.Y. - day-of coordination
J.C. - day-of coordination
E.C., A.C. - video/pictures, photobooth
A.B. - pictures
K.B. - hair and make up
M.I. - video
M.F. - photobooth
L.T. - orchids for our centerpieces
L.C., K.C. - Chinese customs
G.N. & Y.L. - impromptu photographers who shared some excellent shots
Also to some aunties for helping me with my attire
And both sides of the family for helping to get things together for the wedding and helping with all kinds of logistics on our big day.
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